Chapter 1
Briana
Five Years ago
What a rush to finally graduate high school. I'm officially an adult, even though I've been eighteen for six months. It's the final piece of the puzzle of stepping into the adult world.
My entire future is before me, even more so since my boyfriend Ethan has asked me to meet with him tonight. He doesn't want to do all the fancy dances and parties. He just wants time with me.
He’s the love of my life, and I know it without a shadow of a doubt. He's been my everything for so long that my best friend has convinced me he's going to propose tonight so we can start the next chapter of our lives together.
He's been acting a little weird the last few days, but if he were planning a proposal, that would make sense. So I took extra care getting ready this evening, doing my hair and makeup the way he loves. I even have a new dress for the evening.
We're meeting at the lake that has been our spot out on the dock. I have images of a beautiful, picturesque proposal with candles all over the place as he stands and waits for me.
When I arrive, the only light is from the lamp post on the shore, but Ethan’s at the end of the dock, staring out into the lake. I take a moment to gaze at him. He still gives me butterflies after all this time.
He's always been aware of his surroundings, so I know he hears my footsteps, but he doesn't turn until I take the first step onto the dock. His expression is serious. He doesn't smile, and there's a haunted look in his eyes. Something's wrong.
As soon as I reach him, I take his hand in mine to offer him a bit of strength. "What's wrong? Is everything okay?"
His eyes wander over me for a moment before he shakes his head. "I need you to know that I wanted the life we planned, but I have no idea how to give it to you."
"We don't have to figure out how to get there yet. It will take time, and we can do anything together."
Ethan shakes his head again. "I decided to join the Navy. I leave in two weeks for basic training."
He drops the bombshell and then watches and waits for my reaction.
We were supposed to get an apartment together, live together, go to school together, start our life and plan the rest of our life together. The military was never part of that plan.
My mind races as I try to adapt to the new plan. "Okay. As soon as you get stationed, let me know, and I'll transfer my classes. How long is basic training? Will I be able to write you? Can we talk? Is it like the movies, where I won’t hear from you for eight weeks? It's sucks, but we’ll make this work. They provide housing, right? So we can live in the military housing while I go to school, and you start working."
"No, Bri. I don't want to do the long-distance thing. It's hard enough being away from you for a short time. We won't last long distance. This is for the best for both of us. We end here and go our separate ways.
I’m in complete disbelief. "You can't be serious. This is us. We can work through anything. Listen, my parents are gone for the night. Come back to my place, and we can work through this."
He looks over my head and sighs. "Okay, let's go back to your place."
Once there, we head straight up to my room. I don't get a word out before he kisses me and pins me against the door. My mind goes blank.
We rip at each other's clothes, tearing them apart before he grabs my ass and picks me up. I wrap my legs around his waist, and he carries me to the bed.
In one movement, he lays me down and slides inside me. We moan at how good it feels to be connected. He makes love to me fast and desperately. His lips stay on mine like he’s afraid of what I’ll say if he stops. Hell, I'm afraid of what either of us will say.
My orgasm is fast and intense and hits me out of nowhere, causing me to cry out. He follows me over the edge and then holds me. I feel so safe in his arms.
When I wake up the next morning, I’m tucked into bed, but Ethan and every sign of him is long gone.
The note on my nightstand is the only sign he was here.
Bri,
I love you with all my heart and always will, but I meant what I said.
I won't force you to do a long-distance relationship, so it's best we end here.
I don't have the same options you do. You're going to do amazing at that big school, but we were lying to ourselves to think I had the grades to join you.
You're going to do incredible things, and you're going to find someone worthy of standing by your side.
It just can't be me.
Ethan.
My heart shatters into a million little pieces. In the blink of an eye, the love of my life and my best friend is gone.
I can't get out of bed, and I can't eat or sleep.
Days pass. After a week of refusing to change out of his T-shirt, my dad walks into my room, throws me over his shoulder, and tosses me into a cold bath, telling me I stink.
I don't have the energy to move. I sit and let the water soak me to the bone. My mom walks in, helps remove my clothes, and bathes and washes my hair. I find the strength to pull on a T-shirt and crawl back into bed.
Two weeks pass without a single word from Ethan. I know he's at boot camp, and the thought makes me sick. The thought of him getting on that bus and leaving me has me running to the bathroom and throwing up what little food is in my stomach.
I spend two nights on the bathroom floor, the room spinning as I throw up everything I force myself to eat.
Eventually, I pass out and wake up in a hospital room. My mom and dad sit on either side of me, each gripping a hand.
"What happened?" I ask, remembering falling asleep on the bathroom floor.
"You wouldn't eat or drink. You were so sick, and when we tried to wake you up, we couldn't, so we rushed you here. They got you started on fluids and some food. Why didn't you tell us you were pregnant?" my mom asks with tears streaming down her face.
Pregnant?
There's no way. We were always so careful... until that last night together. In our wild frenzy, I don't think we used a condom.
"I didn't know," I whisper as I lie down, close my eyes, and start to cry all over again.
